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Queenie. Legally able to drink in public on the 30th.
Pretentious. Quirky. Weird in general. Hypocritical with reason.
I'M A SEAGOAT DAMNIT!!!
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Date: Saturday, September 1, 2007 Time: 11:05 PM
Dont take one look at me and immediately think that you know me, and what I did all day Seriously though, this is exactly why I refuse to study when you are in the same room as me. you think that just because YOU didnt see me study it automatically means that I didnt study the whole day. and it pisses me off because when I actually take the time and trouble to study (in MY room of course, i will never give you the satisfaction of seeing me study and actually thinking that your constant nagging works, it DOESNT, it's just f*cking annoying and actually makes me want to study LESS) But, no, though, I'm sick of arguing with you because I know that you will never listen, like this is YOUR world and everything only YOU say is right. I know that you dont trust me, but at least trust that I actually have enough responsibility and independence to plan things on my own and do my own studying without having you *supervising* YOU are the one that said that I am ungrateful. but tell me, what DO i have to be grateful for? I know that you provide food, shelter etc. for me, and believe me, i am MORE than grateful for that, but I will never be grateful for you preventing me from making my own decisions and feeling that I am too immature and irresponsible to depend on myself. I know that I am not always right, but face it, neither are YOU. in fact, i probably disagree with half the things you say. Now I know where i get my bad attitudes from, none other than YOU (and, of course my stubborn-ness is due to Dad) here's what I think i so-called *inherited* from you. #1. thinking that I am always right, #2. thinking that what everyone else says doesnt mean anything and #3. thinking that the world revolves around me. so, yeah, now i guess that i WASNT adopted and you are my false parents because both your bad qualities show up perfectly in me. You think that I dont care about exams? You dont think I realize how important this exam is? Look, i may be blur and have minimum interest in my studies but I am NOT stupid. You know what, at least I know when to stop using the comp and dont overuse it till 4.00am in the morning like *some other people*. in fact, i think you should be grateful that you dont have a daughter who is constantly obsessed with Korean dramas/online games to the point that she will stop at nothing to continue with her game. I know what kind of daughter you want me to be. but let me just tell you right now that it's a waste of time trying to morph me into that person. i will never be a quiet, well-mannered, responsible, smart, hardworking person that you want me to be. i am me and if you cant handle that then that sucks for you, because I am not changing myself for anyone but me. You know what, I think it's time you look and realize how much you missed out on your daughter. admit it, do you even KNOW what my favourite things are, or things that ARE important to me? (no, going for f*cking line dancing lessons ESPECIALLY with you is not one of them) I know it's pretty pointless to tell you what I hate the most and telling you that the things you do are f*cking embarrassing me because I know that you will only turn a deaf ear to my calls. But just so you know, it's not that I am confused or misunderstood or whatever that i will need some counselling or something, believe me the last person I would tell my feelings to is YOU. I feel perfectly normal, and have no problems with my life whatsoever, so why should you. i DONT want to talk about it because you are probably going to b!tch about it to someone else (face it, thats all you do, i should've never told you how much i weigh because you just couldnt wait to tell the whole neighborhood that I have a weight/self-esteem problem. and PLEASE respect my privacy and dont come barging in through my door (heck, if I had it my way, i would keep that door locked all the time and keep the key all to myself) and DONT read my messages anymore, it's fucking rude. In fact, i shouldnt feel bad at all for calling you a b!tch because you were the one who invaded my privacy in the first place and read my messages, but for some reason I still feel sorry. I dont want to make myself into a cold-hearted b!tch but if that is what I have to do, then i will. Yours truly, Queenie |