OH SPARE ME PLS













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    Date: Saturday, April 12, 2008
    Time: 6:50 PM


    Was there ever a time when you fell in love with a person, but had to let go? When you thought you moved on, Lady Fate toys with you and makes you meet with that one person again. Other people, other loves may have come and gone through your life and yet you never forget the way that your heart used to leap or how your body used to tremble at the presence of that one person. Then, you realize that your love for him had always been there. That person is your constant. Simply put: he is your soul-mate, your one true love.

    Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point, we’ll have to choose: do we fall back to what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It’s hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time. So we have to remember, sometimes the most important history is the history we’re making today.
    i wish you knew....
    how much i need you right now
    why did you have to leave so soon?
    during the point where i had loved you the most
    you left when i needed you most
    you left when i wanted to tell you probably the most important thing ever
    how cruel fate can be to take you away from me
    all i have are the memories of you
    remember those days
    where nothing mattered, so long as we faced it together
    would you believe those were the best days of my life?
    and probably will be the best for awhile to come
    now you have no idea how much it hurts inside
    to know that you will never come back
    i would give anything just to see you again
    so that i could tell you how i really feel
    it still hurts, this wanting to tell you
    this need to tell you
    after so long
    i know that you will still never know how i feel

    *drowning my hopelessness in yaoi*
    why have all these bloody feeling come back to haunt me again
    was doing some cleaning up just now and found his letters
    yes, the very letters that we promised to write to each other if we ever were in a state of death
    and he kept his promise
    i've read that letter a million times, but it just says the same thing in the end

    "I'm sorry"

    sorry for what?? sorry for bloody what???
    for dying of cancer??? for not being here for me now???
    for not knowing how much i've gone through and how much i needed to forget you???

    well sorry doesnt help, it never has
    especially coming from you

    i dont hate you, i wont ever hate you, i can never hate you
    but i hate your last words
    those words have no meaning, at least not right now
    you could have called, you could have recorded your voice and left someone to find it and give it to me
    but you just leave with two lousy good-for-nothing words
    "I'm sorry"
    well sorry's not going to fix this
    sorry is not going to repair all the pain you've caused my heart
    sorry is not going to forgive you for leaving just like that
    sorry is not going to help me get over you

    because bloody hell, and i'll be damned if i ever have to go through this again
    i dont love you
    at least not anymore
    i'm done with you
    you are history
    you mean nothing to me
    you're dead not only to the rest of the world, but to me

    [/emo]


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