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Date: Saturday, April 12, 2008 Time: 6:50 PM
i wish you knew.... how much i need you right now why did you have to leave so soon? during the point where i had loved you the most you left when i needed you most you left when i wanted to tell you probably the most important thing ever how cruel fate can be to take you away from me all i have are the memories of you remember those days where nothing mattered, so long as we faced it together would you believe those were the best days of my life? and probably will be the best for awhile to come now you have no idea how much it hurts inside to know that you will never come back i would give anything just to see you again so that i could tell you how i really feel it still hurts, this wanting to tell you this need to tell you after so long i know that you will still never know how i feel *drowning my hopelessness in yaoi* why have all these bloody feeling come back to haunt me again was doing some cleaning up just now and found his letters yes, the very letters that we promised to write to each other if we ever were in a state of death and he kept his promise i've read that letter a million times, but it just says the same thing in the end "I'm sorry" sorry for what?? sorry for bloody what??? for dying of cancer??? for not being here for me now??? for not knowing how much i've gone through and how much i needed to forget you??? well sorry doesnt help, it never has especially coming from you i dont hate you, i wont ever hate you, i can never hate you but i hate your last words those words have no meaning, at least not right now you could have called, you could have recorded your voice and left someone to find it and give it to me but you just leave with two lousy good-for-nothing words "I'm sorry" well sorry's not going to fix this sorry is not going to repair all the pain you've caused my heart sorry is not going to forgive you for leaving just like that sorry is not going to help me get over you because bloody hell, and i'll be damned if i ever have to go through this again i dont love you at least not anymore i'm done with you you are history you mean nothing to me you're dead not only to the rest of the world, but to me [/emo] |