Chapter 4 – Jiyong

Fine, maybe it wasn’t fair of me to get mad at Yongbae like that (although he probably didn’t notice I was mad or anything, so…)

But even so, sure, I’m supposed to be glad that he’s found someone (although he claims he and her aren’t going out) but then again, what is this feeling inside me that I can’t seem to ignore.

It isn’t jealousy, definitely, because, don’t get me wrong, Megan’s pretty and all that but it’s not like we even actually had an entire conversation together. Plus, I’ve sworn of dating until…well, never. But why is it I can’t stop looking at her?
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Dinner last night – BAD IDEA

Not only did it worsen our already fragile friendship with each other, but I cant believe I was actually that close to revealing ‘it’.

Note to self : NEVER listen to YongBae ever again

And stop drinking, definitely.
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So…practice was…awkward. We didn’t even say a word to each other the entire time, and (apart from the whole 1 year break thing) this is probably the longest we’ve ever gone not talking to each other. I guess dinner was a bad idea. And thinking that she was going to be all right after I admitted that I still had feelings for her (not that I actually got to that point) was totally bullshit. What was seriously weird was how she just walked out of the restaurant – just like that, as if it was something I said.

She began talking to Jiyong today. Well, looks like Jiyong’s ready to get back in the game. The question is, why aren’t I doing anything about it?

Maybe it’s because I actually need to listen to what the damned psychiatrist said and ‘let her go’. Or maybe because I’m already used to the whole idea of watching her slip right through my fingers.

Darn, Jiyong’s really trying hard. And from the looks of it, they’re going out for dinner….tonight.

And Jiyong’s never had a good rep with dates. Man, he must really like her.
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“I’m SO sorry about this,” Jiyong apologized fervently. The restaurant totally screwed up his reservation and gave away his table to someone else , “I should’ve called and confirmed it earlier.”
“It’s fine, really,” Megan said, and she did really mean it. How many dates had she had that ended up in a stuffy restaurant and overpriced food, really, “But we can still have fun tonight, I mean, how about we just walk around in the park?”

“Really? You don’t mind that sort of thing?” Jiyong asked, clearly surprised by her statement.

“Well, it definitely would be better than all the other typical dates I’ve had.”

“Okay then. Lets walk,” he said, as he took her arm and led the way.
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She was startled, clearly.

How many times in her life had she actually seen stars in the sky?

And this was definitely one of the more memorable times.

He had brought her to the roof of a building.

So there she was, laying on the ground, with Jiyong beside her.

“So,” he began to say, “Is this date getting any better yet?”

“Honestly,” she replied, “It’s one of the best I’ve been on so far.”

Jiyong unconsciously moved his right arm closer to hers, and their hands brushed against each other.

Megan could only stare up to the sky, a smile now forming on her lips.

They stayed up until the morning, stargazing. When they got bored of that, they started talking, about, well, everything. From which school they went to, to dogs, to how many children they wanted (if they even wanted children that is). Megan just felt so comfortable talking to Jiyong, like she could practically tell him anything. She just had this feeling that she could trust him completely. Like he was the type of person you could blurt out your innermost feelings to and not feel insecure about it. He was no Yongbae, that was true, because no one could be a more trustworthy friend than Yongbae, but he was almost there.

“I should probably be getting you back,” Jiyong said all of a sudden, “We wouldn’t want the others to worry, would we?”

And just like that, they headed back to the dance studio.
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“So…” Yongbae asked as soon as Megan stepped into the studio, “How was the date?”

“It was…..” she replied, “pleasant…..”

“Tell me everything, don’t spare any details,” he said excitedly.

This is what Megan loved so much about Yongbae. He knew exactly when to care about what she was talking about.

Megan spared no details. From the point where Jiyong brought her to the restaurant to this morning where they were laying on the rooftop of the building. She recalled every word they said to each other perfectly, as she had the entire event etched in her memory.

Yongbae pretended to listen attentively as she continued on and on. He was just waiting for the moment when she said the word that he was really interested in.

“And…that was it,” she ended.

“Really? That’s all?” he asked curiously. Surely their ‘date’ couldn’t have ended just like that. Not even a small peck on the forehead? (which he found completely appalling)

“Yeah…..” she replied, “And what’s weird is that….I actually sort of enjoyed it.”

Yongbae took a moment to think. “Wait…” he asked, “Are you….falling for him?”

Megan took awhile to respond to that question. “Yeah…” she finally said, “I think I am….”

That struck Yongbae harder than it should have.
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Okay, so Megan might (possibly) like Jiyong. No big deal, right? I mean, something like this shouldn’t bother me, right? My best friend and my band-mate, I mean, this is great…really…really great.

This is good…..

This is great…..

I bet Jiyong must be feeling over the moon right now.

But then again…..

Why is it….I cant seem to shake this feeling off….

Do I really…..like her more than I should?

This, quite frankly, was not a hard question to answer.